NON VERBAL LANGUAGE

We mammals speak in many ways, and, sometimes I think what we say with voice or pen are only the tip of the communication iceberg. Most people think of body language as the movements of face, arms, hands and the entire body …and it is, at least for most of you. I’ve had to study that some, not because it does me any good as a reader, but because I need to know what I am communicating.

Of far more importance to me are things like tone of voice (it is *extremely* hard to hide much from someone who knows how to listen, because the voice carries its emotional undercurrent, which can support or contradict what someone is saying, mostly without their knowledge. Trained actors and other trained speakers can hide their true feelings or project things they don’t feel, but they have to be “on stage”, so to speak.

Laughter is another give away to what’s really going on inside someone’s head. Have you ever considered the many kinds of laughter there are? There is the nervous giggle that says “I’m really uncomfortable, maybe a little scared, so I don’t know what I should be saying right now”. There is the sarcastic laugh that says, “I’m better than you are, and we both know it” (um hum). There is the “pretend” laugh that says “This is *not* funny, but you expect me to laugh, so I will”. There is angry laughter, lascivious laughter, and hysterical laughter, which always has a background of tears, just below the surface. There is the laugh that says “I don’t believe a word you are saying” and the one that says “I don’t understand a word you are saying”. Best of all, though, is the laughter that springs from true joy, and *that* is an outpouring of love!

But consider …we humans aren’t the only non verbal communicators! Listen to the different purrs of cats, like the frightened purr, the nervous purr, or the “Come here, kittens” purr of a mama cat. The best, of course, is the contented soft buzz of a lap cat, all curled up and comfy in my lap. She’s enjoying the stroking, feels safe, is in the process of falling asleep, with a full tummy, and no cares in the world.

Watch a cat’s tail, too! She can tell you if she’s about to beat the stuffings out of something, wants to play, is itching for a fight, or strut her glorious stuff!

Dogs have their non verbal language, too, but I don’t speak much dog …so I can’t really comment on that!

Someone, (I forget who) told me long ago and yes this is a cliché, but …”talking is only 1/3 of the communication process. Listening carefully and attentively is the 2nd third, and observing closely is the 3rd third. How often, in my desire to get my point across do I forget 2/3 of the process of communicating and how very sad that is.

I read on a blog today (I don’t know how to post the link to it, but it’s called Flotsam and Jetsam” that Eastern Market in Washington, D.C. burned down yesterday. That is very, *very* sad, and I fervently hope it will be rebuilt! It was a wonderful place, on many, many levels!

Eleanora